My Story. Part 5. Healing through PT.

This is one of those posts that has taken me FOR.EVER. to want to write. I did a lot of soul searching and realized why. This is me currently. This isn’t my medical history… which is easily summarized… this is the active, messy journey that I’m on. I have anxiety about being criticized, being wrong,…

Read More

Humans of Vulvodynia Society

I recently submitted my story to a new “Humans of Vulvodynia Society” survey from ME + MY V. This blog has some wonderful information, and I am especially interested in reading about other perspectives about vulvodynia. If you have vulvodynia, I encourage you to share your story (you can do so anonymously if you wish). The…

Read More

A Double Edged Sword.

A double edged sword. That’s what it is. Being a virgin prior to entering into a monogamous marriage as a woman with vulvodynia is a double edged sword. On one hand, I hold fast to my religious tenants about sexuality and how intimacy is between me and my husband and us only. It brings me…

Read More

My Story. Part 2. Recognizing Something was Wrong and the Diagnosis

Hey there. It’s me again. Ready to write some more. I feel hesitant already, knowing that this will surface some deep emotions I try so hard to forget. But, I know I need to do this. Here goes nothing. Intercourse was painful for me. So, very painful. Like crying-in-the-fetal-position-for-hours-after kind of painful. We discovered this…

Read More

Medical Journey: Elevator Pitch

I wanted to do a QUICK elevator pitch of my medical journey with vulvodynia, so that there is context when you read the other posts about what has helped/what hasn’t. I will keep updating this post throughout the course of this blog. Thanks! … I was diagnosed in 2015 (after I had my kids) when…

Read More

My story. Part 1. The Early Years.

My medical history is a long, complicated, intertwined, and emotional one. It takes me to a place of incredible vulnerability. Reliving moments of hopelessness, let-downs, and anger. For this reason, I have been putting off writing this. But as each day passes, I feel frustrated with myself for not writing it down. For not getting…

Read More

The Power of Visualization

My heart aches. I yearn for him to return. He will be gone for months and months for military training and I miss him desperately. Sure, I can handle the day to day responsibilities of our family. I write him letters and it feels like I am talking with him. I know how he would…

Read More

What is in my Amazon Cart?

As open as I am about having vulvodynia, there are times when I feel incredibly self-conscious and a little embarrassed about it. Today is one of those days. I had pelvic floor PT yesterday and my physical therapist recommended a few products to order on Amazon. I got online today and added a TheraWand, a lubricant, and a book to…

Read More

Symptoms and Effects of Vulvodynia

Stabbing pain. Burning. Itching. Glass shards. Every step is torture. Electric shock. Raw, tearing skin. Rose thorns inside me. Extreme tightness. These are very common ways women describe what having vulvodynia feels like. I have felt: 7/9   Excruciatingly painful intercourse. Can’t sit for long periods of time. Lost my job because of it. Can’t…

Read More

The Purpose of Sandpaper and Glass

I’d been contemplating starting a blog for awhile now. At least a year and a half, in some form or another. In March 2016 I had a surgery for my vulvodynia. Up until then, I had kept my condition very private. I considered it in the “don’t ask, don’t tell” category of topics. Possibly in…

Read More