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Sandpaper & Glass

One woman's journey with vulvodynia.

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Hi! I’m Grace.

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Instagram: @sandpaper.and.glass

I've been waiting for some news this week and I am so grateful for this perfect reminder from @growthwork 🔹 🥰

This time of year can be really triggering for a lot of people. 🔹 Here is your friendly reminder that DIETS DON'T WORK. 🔹 Our society has taught us a lie. We have been brainwashed. But I want you to know that you have the power to change that. It will take a lot of work. Possibly therapy. You will have good days and bad days... But it can be done. 🔹 Over time you will become free from the chains of dieting. You will be free from the self-hate. You will learn to see diet culture for what it really is. A blood-sucking leech. 🔹 You will settle into the peace of body neutrality and self-love. You will have cultivated a mentality of acceptance for yourself and others. You will have a healthier relationship with food and with exercise. You will act out of love and respect for your body, not hate. 🔹 Check out Intuitive Eating. Google it. Read about it. Follow anti-diet Insta accounts. You can look at who I follow for some good resources. 🔹 Try it. Give yourself time. You'll see that it's worth it. @kristamurias

I interrupt your Halloween costume feed to announce: I LAUNCHED MY BUSINESS TODAY!!!!! 🔹 I create premium letter-board accessories using polymer clay! The first round of designs are up on the shop. I will be adding more designs in the coming weeks. Trust me, I have a LOT of designs I am working on! 🔹 This business idea was sparked in late August of this year. On September 2, 2019 I ordered my first batch of polymer clay. I had never worked with polymer clay before... but I just had a feeling that I would figure it out. 🔹 Since then, my designs have improved dramatically! I have immersed myself in tutorials on YouTube. I've studied diligently to make sure my products are as professional and durable and beautiful as possible. 🔹 In addition to jumping into the world of polymer clay, I've also been studying all the business aspects of things. This is a whole new world for me: product photography, book keeping, designing an e-commerce website, shipping, product development, social media, and marketing. At this point, I am doing all of this myself... and the learning curve is STEEP. I know that I haven't nailed-down each of these areas perfectly, but I am very proud and quite happy with my progress in each of these areas. 🔹 A few weeks ago, I went into full-on panic attack mode about it all. Who am I to start a business? Will anyone in the world want what I have to offer? Surely there are millions of people more qualified to do this than I am. 🔹 I am not an expert in ANY aspect of starting this business and sometimes it feels like I am drowning in all that I need to learn. All I can say is: thank goodness I LOVE to learn and that I like a challenge. 🔹 (A MASSIVE THANK YOU to all my lovely friends and family who have helped over these past two months. I love you all) 🔹 I will post more throughout the day with insights to my business, pictures, and a giveaway! The best way to stay updated is via my business Instagram @pop.of.grace

I wish I could shout this from the rooftop! 🔹 Actually, I think I will 😉 🔹 In all seriousness... H2O is the only cleanser you need to stay squeaky clean down there. There are a lot of companies promoting vulva/vaginal washes... But they aren't necessary!! The pH balance, bacteria, and general sensitivity of your vulva can be disrupted by using soaps or scented products. 🔹 Use water and use water only. A handheld shower head works great. Cupping some water in your hand works well. A really gentle washcloth works perfectly. 🔹 Try it for a few weeks and let me know what you think! 🔹 Image from @peacewithpain

Your trauma is valid. Whether you talk about it openly with the world or with a select few... Or haven't shared it with anyone at all. It is valid. 🔹 I know some people who are very private with their lives. They find peace and healing in their small circle. It works for them. They are able to move through their days happy knowing that those closest to them understand what they have been through. 🔹 I am one of those people who finds depth and connection by sharing my story openly with anyone who wants to hear. It brings me peace knowing that others know me, even the hard parts of me. 🔹 If you haven't shared your trauma with anyone... I encourage you to open up to one person. A friend. A therapist. A loved one. Trauma and shame thrive in secrecy. When you are able to break the silence, you will feel a bit lighter. Your trauma is valid either way, but healing will come more readily once you break the silence. 🔹 I didn't always share so openly. It took years for me to not only acknowledge my pain, but to share about it with anyone other than my husband. I was nervous about how others would view me. Would they see me as broken? Deserving of pain? Weird for sharing? 🔹 Once I opened up, however, I felt heard. Known. Loved. 🔹 Sure, some people think I overshare. Some people don't get me. But I've learned that that's okay. Because for every person who feels that way there are a dozen who do get me. And it is so worth it. 🔹 My vulvodynia. My depression. My phobia. My anxiety. My intuitive eating journey. My MCAS. My thoughts and fears and hopes and dreams. All of me. 🔹 Image shared from @bodyposipanda

Let's define sex. Sex is not just intercourse. Intercourse (aka: penis in vagina) is one kind of sex. There are many kinds of sex that couples engage in. Outercourse. Oral. Manual. Intercourse. Anal. The fact that media and social norms equate penetrative sex as the gold standard is absolutely ridiculous. It alienates many couples (whether in LGBT+ relationships or those who experience pain). My advice: find what works for you and your partner. Hubs and I didn't have intercourse for years due to my vulvodynia. But we were sexually active during that time! We found what works for us and you can, too. Be honest. Be open. And be vulnerable. If you're the one experiencing pain during intercourse, talk to your partner. Try other things! Instead of viewing it as "I'm so angry because I can't have intercourse" change the narrative to "I wonder what else we could do that would feel great!" Image from @peacewithpain

Recent Posts

Lots and Lots and Lots of Thoughts: Weight Loss and Weight Gain November 8, 2019
Lots and Lots and Lots of Thoughts: Weight Neutral Language November 8, 2019
Lots and Lots and Lots of Thoughts: Diet Culture and Body Neutrality November 8, 2019
Lots and Lots and Lots of Thoughts: Diet Culture… I’m Fat November 8, 2019
Anxiety, Avoidance, and Accountability July 7, 2019

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