The other day I was talking with a sales rep and asked her if she had a dress in my regular size. She paused and said, “Are you sure you wouldn’t like to size up? You might be more comfortable.” (Note: not a hint of sarcasm or fat shaming in her voice, just a recommendation)
The world didn’t end. I wasn’t offended. I said, “Sure! You know the sizing better than I do. I’d love to try it on.” And guess what? It fit!
See, here’s the thing. I can imagine myself a few years ago reeling from a situation like that. I would have felt so much shame. I would have vowed to start another diet. I would have cried. I probably would have asked to try on my regular size and then felt so depressed that it didn’t fit right. I would have berated myself mentally.
Is that healthy? NO!
There is more to weight than so-called “health.” Because when it comes to weight, the world only looks at physical health. “Surely someone who is fat can’t be healthy.” That’s a lie.
(You can be fat and healthy… just ask my doctor.)
Something else our society doesn’t factor in is mental health. We say THIN = HEALTHY… but that makes me so mad.
On a FB group I am in, someone posted today about a rude, fat-phobic comment her doctor said to her. The comments broke my heart. There were so many stories of doctors and “friends” and “family” fat shaming someone out of “concern for their health.” That is such a lie.
“Oh, honey, I love you so much and I’m so concerned for you… so I am going to call you lazy and unmotivated and tell you how to live your life because I am uncomfortable being associated with someone fat.”
Or, “Wow, sweetie! You are socially acceptable now that you’ve lost weight! Now I get to shower you with love and praise I didn’t want to show you when you were fatter.”
OOOOOH, it makes me angry.
It especially made me mad because these women have the same condition I do, MCAS. Everyone with MCAS reacts differently.
Some of them lost weight because they were having allergy-attacks or experiencing massive stress. And instead of doctors and friends focusing on their condition, they were praised and sent on their way. NOT ALL WEIGHT LOSS IS HEALTHY.
Others in the group (like me) experience weight gain from being on different medications or dealing with inflammation. And instead of doctors and friends focusing on their condition, they were fat-shamed and told that if they just lost weight things would be different. NOT ALL WEIGHT GAIN IS UNHEALTHY.
I have a million thoughts on the matter. But I will leave it there for today.